I started coding at the age of around 14. It was BASIC and we would stay back in school to just draw lines on the screen. Time went on and we got a new computer teacher who really liked what he did(that's all it takes to turn kids around). From the first class he took, I was hooked! Soon Turbo C++ became my best friend. I always wanted to write games. But he suggested that as a simpler exercise I made a paintbrush program. That project consumed me and I had a reasonably functioning MS Paint replica on DOS. From there, I started eating up books on DirectX and MFC and whatnot. Learned what there was to learn about game development only to realize that in 2004 there were not a lot of companies in India hiring game devs.
As professional life started to loom on, I learned animation, web development, and then front-end dev. In 2005-07, front-end dev looked a lot different. If you wanted anything fancy, you had to develop with Actionscript and Flash. I got my first real job as a front-end dev in 2007.
It’s been 14 years and year on year, code just started to feel more like a job and less like something that made me excited to sit up and lose sleep.
Until last year, when we were all forced to stop and reconsider(more on that later). I went into build mode. I finally reclaimed my love for code. And what it took was to stop thinking of it as a top-down means to an end, but more like plasticine. Something that starts as nothing and you mod it one piece at a time and things start to appear. I started treating it like my piano practice: a measure at a time. A mechanical practice. Something tactile, nonabstract. Just something that gives me joy in these times of uncertainty.
TLDR; if there is a practice that gave you joy but no longer does, it’s possible that you shared too much of it. It’s okay to be a li’l selfish with things that give you joy. Protect them. Take them back to the cave where it’s your refuge.